Do not f**k with the Proctors

20 Mar

Do not f**k with us.

At Oxford University the university rules are enforced by a shadowy organisation called “the Proctors“. The threat of a visit to the Proctors is used kind of “boogieman” -style to scare students: “if you break the rules you’ll be up in front of the Proctors”. They have the power to do anything from issuing fines to kicking you off your degree course.

Tomorrow marks the start of Hilary exam week and of course there are lots of strict rules associated with sitting exams. Within the exam hall these are generally enforced by invigilators. The rules are pretty obvious and at their most simple can be summarised as:

  • Do not talk to each other once in the exam hall.
  • Do not look at your exam papers before you are told.
  • When you are told to stop writing, you must stop writing immediately.

Also, you must not bring any electronic devices in to the exam hall – a point that is very amusingly reinforced in an email from a professor at another university: “do not *f**k with the electronics rule“.

I would hate for any of my classmates to inadvertently break any rules during an exam and find themselves in trouble, so in the spirit of pre-exam procrastination I offer the following examples of situations that should be avoided in case they result in you making an unwelcome visit to the Proctors:

But I was just arranging to meet up once the exam was finished…” Nope. Please visit the Proctors.

But I just wanted to take a quick look at the paper to see what the case was about…” Nope. Please visit the Proctors.

But I just wanted to write a few more sentences…” Nope. Please visit the Proctors.

But they hadn’t taken my paper away yet so I kept on writing…” Nope. Please visit the Proctors.

But we were just agreeing that this wasn’t in the lecture notes…” Nope. Please visit the Proctors.

But, but but…” Nope nope nope. Please visit the Proctors.

So please, please, please let’s all say it together one time:







That is all. 🙂

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